I’m Tired of Saying Yes - Confessions of a Burnt Out Mama

I am always talking about saying yes to yourself, your goals, your dreams - just ALL of it. But, you can’t always start by saying yes, sometimes you need to say NO. Part of our exhaustion as mamas comes from saying yes to everyone else for everything. We try not to say no - mainly because we assume that those who are asking for something need it more than we need to take a break. This goes for family, friends, business, everyone but you. 

Saying yes all the time sounds great in theory (happy family, happy friends, socialization, etc), but what we’re not realizing at the moment is that it’s leaving us overwhelmed and feeling burnt out. And step #1 of defeating mom burnout is saying NO even when you feel like you have to say YES. After learning to say NO, I was able to refocus my energy where I really needed it, becoming a better mom for my kids and myself. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Saying No to Your Family

This is one of the most high-stress situations - in the beginning. How you handle this is based on your relationship with your family. Your family should want the best for you, both mentally and physically, and this means saying no to family functions when you can handle them or skipping that family dinner night. Before stressing, be open with your family about why and express your hope that they’ll understand - and that it doesn’t mean that you “don’t like them” or “don’t want to spend time with them” and if it’s an event, offer to reschedule a smaller meet-up that you do feel you can handle. 

After the first few “no” situations, your family will typically begin to understand where you’re coming from and why you had to do this (most likely because you’ll be in a better mood/mental space next time you meet).

Saying No to Friends

This was especially difficult as a new mom. When you have your first baby, you never know how it’ll affect you beforehand. You have moments when you’re happy, but also those where you’re overwhelmed and anxious and everywhere in between. Staying social and meeting up with friends can be burdensome in the beginning, but pressures to maintain the friendship often lead to saying yes before you’re ready. Ideally, you’ll be able to communicate these needs to your friends and they’ll understand - maybe they’ll even offer up an alternative solution, like coming over with food rather than meeting at a restaurant.

Saying No to Kids and Husband

I’m not referring to when you’re kids are running rampant and you’re telling them to calm down or saying no to another snack - this is more situational. It’s also more about putting a little “you-time” first rather than denying what they need. For example, your eldest wants to go somewhere, but you’re not ready or you’ve been on your feet all day. You can say “I’ll take you, but I need *insert time frame* to myself to just take a moment” - it’s not always possible, but when saying no to your close family communication can go a long way. It’s hard to remember that our thoughts and feelings are not shared, they won’t always know how overwhelmed or stressed we’re feeling if we don’t express it.

Looking for more tips and tricks on embracing your mom power, setting boundaries, and being the bomb-ass mom you are, follow me on Instagram @jessicadoman_

3 Signs It’s Time for a Mama Mindset Makeover


Did you know that your mindset might be hurting you rather than helping you? Your mindset is key to manifesting your dreams and accomplishing your goals - but what happens when your mindset is working against you? It might be time for a mama mindset makeover.

A mama mindset makeover is exactly what it sounds like: a mom making over or redoing their mindset. As moms, it’s easy to get into bad habits that kill our mindset. This might be letting the little things get to us and falling out of our mom poweror maybe it’s skipping self-care because you’re feeling mom-guiltWhen you find yourself falling into these habits more often than not, it’s time for a mama mindset makeover.

Still not sure? Here are three signs it’s time for a mama mindset makeover:

#1: You’re finding yourself becoming overwhelmed and frustrated frequently - even when you don’t know why

You’re going to have moments as a mom that are going to drive you INSANE. It’s normal, it’s expected, we’re human. It’s when you’re finding yourself becoming overwhelmed and frustrated so much that you feel like you’re losing yourself or control over your emotions. 

This is a big sign that you need a mindset makeover. You won’t lose these feelings overnight, but it’s a step towards understanding why you feel this way and what to do next. Frustration and overwhelm stem from unmet needs between you and your child, your own self, and how you operate day to day.

THE MINDSET MAKEOVER: 

Make a change by changing the rulesBreak the expectations and make rules (or break rules) that make you feel good and serve your family rather than tradition or expectations. You’ll find yourself feeling more free rather than frustrated once you have a ruleset and parenting style that works for you.

#2: You’re losing your confidence and struggling to find - and stay in - your mom power

Maybe you don’t feel confident in your mom-bod or you can’t find anything that makes you feel like “yea. I’m a badass mom.” Or even worse, you find something that does, but the feeling lasts two seconds until your kids break a family heirloom and it’s all gone. 

It happens, but it doesn’t have to! You can stay in your mom power and make it through those moments, you just have to train your mind to stay there. 

THE MINDSET MAKEOVER:

Make a change by identifying and amplifying your mom power. Learn how to recognize when you’re feeling like a badass and what to do to stay there even when life gets messy. This can stem anywhere from a bath, sex, getting your nails done, reading a good book, or just a pair a jeans that fit right. 

#3: You don’t consider yourself a person anymore

When you’re making decisions, what’s your thought process? Mine used to be centered around what it could or would do for my family. I always thought about what they needed, wanted, or dreamed first. And, while that’s an okay way to live, it will send a mom into burnout and quick.

While you want what’s best for your family, you have to also remember that you too are a part of said family. That your decisions should also positively impact YOU and that you’re allowed to make decisions that benefit just YOU too.

THE MINDSET MAKEOVER:

You’re going to need to completely retrain your mind and rediscover yourself and your confidence. I highly recommend that you listen to Episode Three of The Mom Movement and listen to the five steps I follow to manifest and attract my dreams - and if you’d like to work on your mindset and manifestation 1:1, shoot me a DM on Instagram @jessciadoman_ and share your why and how you’re feeling.

Mindset for Busy Moms

We are all busy. Every single one of us. Yet I'm biased to say Moms are even more swamped. It's because we run the house, we run the show, we cook, clean and do all the things for ourselves and our family. Plus we work! Either in or outside the home! I also run a business which I'm inclined to think makes me a little bit busier too. But this isn't about a busy badge of honor, instead its about-how I can incorporate so much into my busy lifestyle so I feel my best and love the life I live!


So, what's it for you Mama, what are your goals for everyday life for you? Do you want to live your best life every dang day? I hope so. Because you're the kind of Mom I want to lock arms with and become Mamahood besties with!  


My Top 3 things I always recommend to my newbie moms for Mindset that are FREE: 

  1. My Growing Mamas Mind Course
  2. Listen to Abraham Hicks anything mindset on YouTube
  3. Read Dr. Joe Dispenzas books. In particulate my fav is Breaking the Habit of Being yourself
  4. BONUS: Start paying attention to your actions. Your unconscious actions. For example, every free second you have do you pick up your phone. After dinner, are you always thinking of what’s for dessert? Notice where your mind goes without you thinking about it and then decide if you like where it goes or if it needs re-framing. 
The subconscious mind is on auto-pilot. It’s what helps us breathe, digest, etc. So we don’t have to consciously think of these things. It helps take care of all this for us. It’s also sneaky in that it does things we’ve allowed it to do as auto-programs. Things that don’t necessarily benefit us. And it’s our job in growing our mind to take back control and program our subconscious to work in our favor. 

So, how do we do this? The Mama Protocol is a great course I created to help Moms live and thrive in our best life. Moms who are tired of Mediocracy who want to FEEL their best. To reprogram our minds to actually serve us. So our automatic programs in our mind, actually help us! We were meant to be our best selves. To be patient, to be kind, to feel freaking fantastic. We want to break free from the judgements we put on ourselves; looking like Sally Sue on IG all dolled up, the laundry always folded as soon as it’s done. Letting go of the feeling we need to be able to do it all. All the time. That’s what society has put on us. That’s what we were taught. And yet we are succumbing to all the pressure and judgement thinking and feeling we have to keep up with everyone else. But what if we stopped. What if we pivoted and decided that no longer worked for us? What if we got quiet and grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down what we wanted in life? What if we left our phone for an afternoon? What if you got to write your own rules on what your life looked like as a Mom?


Who says you can’t? Not me. It’s time for you to break free Mama. Break free from the judgements of yourself and everyone else. I promise when you do this the freedom you will experience will be- well nothing that can be explained. It’s here for you. The Life you’ve always wanted. And on your terms. Are you ready for it?

Let’s grow your Mama Mindset together. It’s all here.

3 easy mindfulness practices to take you from stressed to relaxed to enjoy the present moment

Do you notice yourself getting caught up in worry, fear and anxiety? As a Mom this isn't hard to do. We worry about all the things. We are responsible for these little humans running around. Trusting they won't get hurt. Trusting others to help us care for them. Trusting people will be kind to them at school. There is so much we often worry about.



But, what if had a way to calm that inner Mama worrier? What if instead of feeling stressed and anxious and worried about all the little things we felt peace. If that heavy load on our shoulders floated away? 

Let me tell you something Mama....3 years ago I was overcome with worry. Stress. Anxiety. I was brought up in a home and family and generationally the women in my family- we worry. We worry about everything. I had all these crazy ideas floating through my head all day about what might happen that would be bad. And I  had a plan on what I'd do if that happened. Like WOAH. Talk about planning for the future..and in a negative way. I cringe just thinking about it. I  was thinking negatively, worrying about worse case scenarios and if you're familiar at all with the Law of Attraction (LOA), what we think about, we attract. You can read my blog about the 12 universal laws here. So the more I worried, the more I  attracted reasons to worry. Holy Cow. I  was a mess. 

But Mama, the truth is – life (& happiness) are only available in the here and now - neither in the past, nor in the future. And – spoiler alert – it’s your duty to stop holding onto what has already happened - or worrying about what might happen. 

Easier said than done. I know.  That's why I  wanted to share my 3 easy practical tips to get you out of your mind; and free from the worry, stress and anxiety into feeling happy, healthy and balanced.

1. Practice Meditation- Calm your Mind. Calm your Life

Practicing meditation on a regular basis helps you to let go of overwhelming thoughts and calms the mental discourse that goes on and on (and on) inside your mind. It might not feel natural to you in the beginning - it is worth it!

The point in this practice is to help you to let go of worries, fears, and regrets instead of holding on to them. There are tons of guided meditations on YouTube and I also include some in The Mama Protocol course that I've created just for Moms to find peace. 

2. Focus on The Good and the Good Gets Better. Recall what I said above about Law of Attraction (LOA).

Taking 10 minutes to focus on gratitude each day has the power to shift your attitude like nothing else.  

The practice of writing down what makes you happy and what you are grateful for makes your vibe higher instantly and it also helps you get clear on the activities that actually bring joy into your life. 

So, Mama, if you are feeling stuck, unhappy and overcome with feelings you don't like, gratitude journaling is an effective tool to (re)gain clarity and find happiness in the current moment. 


3. EFT or Tapping

This is a realtviely new technique I've learned but I'm here for it. It is called Emotional freedom technique (EFT) and it is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure.

People who use this technique believe tapping the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat pain. According to its developer, Gary Craig, a disruption in energy is the cause of all negative emotions and pain.

Though still being researched, EFT tapping has been used to treat people with anxiety and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And your girl here is soon to be certified! There are tons of tapping videos you can look at online but I of course always recommend working with an expert that is trained and certified :) 


Implementing these 3 super simple mindfulness practices into my morning routine has really made a huge difference for me and I can highly recommend them if you are struggling with finding joy in the present moment with all the other things you're juggling in motherhood. 

I know how life goes and sometimes its totally overwhelming  – but remember that you are not your thoughts. You can reframe those thoughts and start feeling better and design your dream life that you want- not what society or anyone else tells you that you should want! 

If you are seeking guidance for re-claiming your power and getting rid of limiting beliefs, anxiety and overwhelm - I'm here for you Mama!

I’m happy to guide you towards the best version of yourself-the you that you want to be not that you think you should be, or your family thinks you should be. The you that sets your soul on fire and enjoy your present moment :)

My group coaching program The Mama Protocol is all about developing a loving yourself mindset, peace protocols, Nourishing your body + Soul, building unshakable confidence and celebrating the process of becoming your highest self in your everyday life. 

Click The Mama Protocol if you feel called to take the leap.

I am beyond excited to welcome you into my energy soon!

Heart and Inner Work,

Remember to treat yourself well.
Jess

Spring into Mom Mindset without all the fluff

The differentiator in living your best Mom Life is Mom Mindset. Mindset is a term heard everywhere right now. And its totally trending but it’s not going away. It’s FINALLY Getting well-known in the world and for good reason! And I'm pretty dang excited about it- can you tell?!?!


It’s helping millions of people take back control of their lives. And its no exception for us Moms. I’m just going to say it right now, Mindset is the missing link in Mom life. 

We’ve heard all about taking care of ourselves first, me time, self care and blah blah blah but what we don’t hear as Moms when we are struggling. When we are overwhelmed. When we are anxious. The missing link is is growing our Mind. Us Moms need to grow our mind. 
Here’s how we can do just that!

What is your mind to you? Do you consider it your brain? What if I  told you-your mind was really your whole body. It’s in charge of your body, your brain, and really your whole life, your surroundings. What you perceive around you. All the things. I  don’t want to geek out on you too much but I will say its pretty freaking great what the mind can do. And when we grow and strengthen it- its amazing. 

My Top 3 things I always recommend to my newbie moms for Mindset that are FREE: 

  1. My Growing Mamas Mind Course
  2. Listen to Abraham Hicks anything mindset on YouTube
  3. Read Dr. Joe Dispenzas books. In particulate my fav is Breaking the Habit of Being yourself
  4. BONUS: Start paying attention to your actions. Your unconscious actions. For example, every free second you have do you pick up your phone. After dinner, are you always thinking of what’s for dessert? Notice where your mind goes without you thinking about it and then decide if you like where it goes or if it needs re-framing. 
The subconscious mind is on auto-pilot. It’s what helps us breathe, digest, etc. So we don’t have to consciously think of these things. It helps take care of all this for us. It’s also sneaky in that it does things we’ve allowed it to do as auto-programs. Things that don’t necessarily benefit us. And it’s our job in growing our mind to take back control and program our subconscious to work in our favor. 

So, how do we do this? The Mama Protocol is a great course I created to help Moms live and thrive in our best life. Moms who are tired of Mediocracy who want to FEEL their best. To reprogram our minds to actually serve us. So our automatic programs in our mind, actually help us! We were meant to be our best selves. To be patient, to be kind, to feel freaking fantastic. We want to break free from the judgements we put on ourselves; looking like Sally Sue on IG all dolled up, the laundry always folded as soon as it’s done. Letting go of the feeling we need to be able to do it all. All the time. That’s what society has put on us. That’s what we were taught. And yet we are succumbing to all the pressure and judgement thinking and feeling we have to keep up with everyone else. But what if we stopped. What if we pivoted and decided that no longer worked for us? What if we got quiet and grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down what we wanted in life? What if we left our phone for an afternoon? What if you got to write your own rules on what your life looked like as a Mom?

Who says you can’t? Not me. It’s time for you to break free Mama. Break free from the judgements of yourself and everyone else. I promise when you do this the freedom you will experience will be- well nothing that can be explained. It’s here for you. The Life you’ve always wanted. And on your terms. Are you ready for it?

Let’s grow your Mama Mindset together. It’s all here.

 
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